When journalist Gina Pera married a man with undiagnosed attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), she embarked on a wild ride that took her from frustration and confusion to understanding and advocacy. Today she runs support groups for people with ADHD and their partners, and her book Is it You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.? was published in 2008.
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I started reading this article because I'm an adult female living with ADD. I hope this helps other ADDers like me and their SOs
- 2 votes
My husband was misdiagnosed throughout his teens as being depressed and medicated as such for years. He was miserable. As an adult, he finally spoke to a doctor that really listened and diagnosed him as adult ADD. Once on medication he improved drastically, but when they switched his meds to the generic version he began having horrible side effects(panic attacks,breathing issues, etc). For the last few months he has been unmedicated due to time constraints keeping him from getting in to the doctor for a re-evaluation. These have been very long and tiring months for the both of us. Communication has become almost painful and I find myself nagging about very basic things (like putting his dirty clothes in the hamper instead of on the floor). I read this article and found myself nodding in agreement with all of it. I know it won't change our situation, but just knowing that this is actually normal for an unmedicated adult ADD sufferer makes it easier for me to cope with the stresses that this has put on me and our family. Now we just need to focus on getting him back into the dr for a different RX.
- 2 votes
Try instead of nagging, giving him a to-do list stickied somewhere where it's easy to see and not so easy to move and forget about. Talk with him about it first before you suddenly start leaving notes otherwise it's just another form of nagging(Honey, I know you have trouble remembering things and I want to help. Maybe a to-do list would help you, I'll even write it for you), and the notes should have a neutral or happy tone(angry begets angry). My husband usually leaves a sticky note on my computer keyboard or screen. My house is interesting because while I have ADD he has aspergers syndrome, our ways of dealing with conflict are completely different and tends to cause even more problems when we have an arguement. I can't stand meds, they leave me feeling empty inside like "me" doesn't exist. Sorry I know my typing style is random, but I'm sure you understand.
- 2 votes
bless you for your struggles and you have my support as a fellow human being struggling with his own issues!
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